Where are you?
In a non slutty way
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
