apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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