He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
