before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
