is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
