i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
