mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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