the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
