His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
