Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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