Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I have post one night stand depression
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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