she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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