I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
