His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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