I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
