just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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