Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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