We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
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