she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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