they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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