Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
