You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
