i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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