Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
