hotel room ftw
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
