pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm really busy with my period
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