you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
