SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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