Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Dick very happy bro
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
