I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
