butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
