This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
they need to just BURY HIM!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
