week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
