so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
