Do you still have your period?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
