Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
