decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
