omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
