I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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