we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
