is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Found your dick twin last night
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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