Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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