my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
