And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
