he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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