Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
