All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
