The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
