All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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