i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
