He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
