The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
